Seasons of Motherhood October 2023 | Adventuring Families

“The project grew from a desire to explore other people and their connection to the coastline.”

When Jez began his arts project, Coastline. He set out with a camera attached to his bike that he pushed beside him, as he filmed the entire sequence along the way. Drawing and tracing the physical border between land and sea, while recording the conversations with people he met along the way.

Jeanie was my little co-driver, as we navigated the remote and ‘un-satnavable places he’d end up in, meeting him with our cosy camper van, a hot drink and a wild family sleepover. It was home-from-home to her and we’d often find ourselves having our own adventures in those spaces of time inbetween.

The project took an unexpected pause after he completed all of Wales’ coastline and pretty much all the south coast of England. He had a cycle accident on the commute home from work one day and the years that followed saw him work so hard to regain physical and mental health.

He’s recently found fresh curiosity and new inspiration, to go back to the start of where he left off.

While I found this old photograph for a feature I’ve recently written called Family Adventures in the Autumn issue of JUNO Magazine. This one of her, curled up in the back of our camper van with Tiger, as her father off-loads his bike from a full day on the coastal path.

My little Team Vehicle Support mate, my partner in crime (in a more teen-kind of way these days).

This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists and mothers from around the world, who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Next up in the blog circle is the talented artist, Kirsty Larmour


Seasons of Motherhood January 2023 | A Game of Chess

What started as a now-and-then created photograph became so much more than a game of chess.

The years have rolled by from that original scene of a little girl playing a game of chess with her dad one Sunday morning. My inspiration to re-create that scene with me in it, had no more layers other than some symbolic connection to life’s choices and events… like moving chess pieces around the board. Though I felt so many more layers to this recreation the morning after, as I witnessed her stepping back and working her way through a true life challenging situation, how she turned it into something so great.

I could not be prouder and more in awe of her grace, true grit and determination, yet what makes me happier still, is that she feels this too.

J: “I actually did it”

Me:  “I always knew you could. I’m so proud of you, you must be proud of yourself too”

J:  “I am.”

Me: *lets a few happy tears of relief slip at today’s chosen chess move.

 

This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists and mothers from around the world, who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Next up in the blog circle is the talented artist, Paige Rains


Seasons of Motherhood | The Dance Show October 2022

From now on

It was two days before the world closed its doors to a pandemic, yet the show went on. Now here we are two years later with the tribute titled show. From Now On was the last song played that evening in March 2020.

So much has happened in that time. The challenges and revelations, the slowing down and speeding up of life. Still that show goes on.This weekend you are one of 208 dancers treading the boards across this stage once more. I am photographing every dance, with as much back stage excitement and frenzied routine polishing as I can capture. Spreading myself across three vast dressing rooms from dancers aged three years and up, to both sides of the stage.

And then there is you.

 

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This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists and mothers from around the world, who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

This entry is the fifth in a series called “Seasons of Motherhood” and is meant to be one picture and one caption that represents our current journey/season of motherhood.

Please visit the next artist in our blog circle, the talented Jess Cheetham and continue through all the artists until you get back to me.

This weekend’s dance show is called From Now On, as it was the last performance from those years ago. The button has been reset, yet we cannot deny the lifetime of what these years have brought about. Why would we?


Artifact Motherhood September 2022 | A van-less summer

Our family adventures took a different path this summer for a number of reasons.

Our beloved camper van and my family’s much-loved holiday home on wheels. Has been undergoing major restoration. It’s been off the road for months. We always knew that this would be the year of different family adventures for us. We want to honour all those thousands of miles and far-flung destinations it’s gifted us, so we have chosen to gift it back a complete refit.

For selfish reasons, for all the adventures we yearn for and are yet to have.

I’m going to pause the van-less adventures and rewind back to the beginning of the year. Where we unexpectedly experienced a bereavement within our family. It continues to shift and shape the foundations of our daily lives. Finding that world kept turning while we tried to stand still, we found ourselves amidst school exams and some post-pandemic anxiety.

I booked two different overseas trips in an attempt to regroup and breathe together as a family.  The first was a trip to Spain during the Easter break, but you tested positive 48 hours before we were due to leave. The second attempt was in June, to Sicily, after your last exam. The airline cancelled that flight that morning, three hours before taking off.

We were sat in a cafe at 8.30am and clicking ‘yes’ to an old cottage in Cornwall.

We headed off instead, to a place we thought we knew so well. Yet during this week, we found new wonders and experiences in the familiar landscapes. Explored the old tin mines buildings that frame the wild and dramatic coastline.

Walking east one day, west the next and talking to people we’d never met, possibly will never meet again.

 

* This season’s story is an edited extract from the next JUNO Magazine Autumn issue.

Artifact Motherhood is a collaboration of artists/mothers from around the world. Sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Our hopes and dreams for our children. With little nuggets of wisdom here and there. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for our children and the generations to come.

Please visit the next artist in our blog circle, the talented Hollie Stokes and continue through all the artists until you get back to me.


There's No Rule Book for Grief | one family's journey

Talking about baby loss

When I first started to consider writing about baby loss, I was, initially, tentative and apprehensive. Not only because I’m acutely aware of how personal a story this is for each family that has experienced it, but because it is an experience which I’m grateful never to have been through.

I honestly didn’t know what reaction I would get, particularly in response to calling out to families who have experienced this. The first big question that came up for me was, how do you approach someone who’s grieving to talk about it for a feature? All I know is that the experience of baby loss is not talked about nearly enough, and asking people how they feel at any time in their grieving process does not happen enough either.

Inviting a family to share a part of their personal and emotional journey with a stranger felt daunting to me.

Then, quite suddenly and unexpectedly, we found ourselves in our own grieving process. The significant difference here was that this was at the end of life, not the beginning of life.

The complex layers of emotions that followed found me explaining to my 15-year-old daughter that there is absolutely no rule book for grief; it is unique to each person. It’s theirs to own, be in and live with, as they need and want to. It was then that I was introduced to Pytsje through a friend of mine.

Pytsje and her husband, Bruce, have two boys, aged 11 and 8 years old. They are a warm and open family with a strong faith and community within their local church. The kind of community that offers a helping hand in bringing up each other’s children, and an unspoken support for one another in times of need.

In 2019, Pytsje discovered she was pregnant with twins. At around 17 weeks pregnant, she went into early labour, and sadly, she lost one of the babies. At 20 weeks, her waters broke. She went into hospital where she and the surviving twin were monitored. As the local hospital didn’t have the specialist equipment needed in their baby unit, they were transferred to another hospital over 50 miles away.

The logistics of Pytsje’s stay in a hospital this far from home, and over the school holidays, were intense to manage, with the boys spending periods of time with various family members across the country, to enable Bruce to make the two-hour round trip on most days to be with his wife.

After four weeks in hospital, Pytsje gave birth to a baby boy. He lived for three days.

At first, Bruce was reluctant to be part of our conversation, however, I feel his words have more impact than perhaps he realises. The delicate balance between the experience and knowledge of medical staff – from seeing these processes multiple times in their work – and their understanding of one family’s circumstances, might be tested by their overstretched roles and hospital bed shortages.

He poignantly added, “These events can become second nature to a doctor, as it’s likely that they know what’s coming next. They see these situations all the time, so perhaps their awareness of us is challenged, as parents who are experiencing this trauma for the first time. All I kept thinking in those earlier weeks was, my baby is still alive.”

We talked about how their church and community gave them all the support they needed during this time. From the practical acts of kindness, such as bringing meals and offering childcare, to the spiritual acts of their faith and being in others’ prayers. Although they were given support through organisations such as Sands, it was their church family, as well the help from their own families, that they say they would not have got through those early months without.

I got up to leave, feeling emotional and in awe of their courage and honesty. We’d agreed between us that the photographs would be symbolic, around two treasures they own in memory of their twins: a hand-painted rainbow illustrating each birth, along with two personally made silver necklaces worn by each parent, engraved with their babies’ names. Just as I reached for the door, I asked what they might say to someone grieving the loss of their baby.

“You have to remember that it is not your fault and it’s really OK to not feel OK. It’s also important to acknowledge and accept the pain – it’s real and it will feel OK again one day. There is a huge difference between asking how someone is, compared to asking how someone is feeling, as knowing they are willing to listen will help you to talk.”

This features in the Spring 2022 issue of JUNO Magazine


Artifact Motherhood May 2022 | Studying through still life

The beginning Of Mice And Men

It’s 9.05am as I write this and five whole minutes into the start of your first GCSE exam.

I honestly believe that I’m more nervous than you, which wouldn’t be too hard given that my approach to school exams at your age was wildly different. I chose a difficult route back then, one you know some of the story of. So here in this moment, I want to acknowledge how you’ve turned one of the most challenging times in your life into something focused and something I hope you are proud of. I certainly am.

It’s 10.00am and you’re halfway through, I hope you’re remembering to breathe, to slow things down and have faith that you know this.

We’re still in a “no photos please” phase and that’s still OK. You didn’t want me to record your hand, the hand that’s written and decorated a zillion flash cards with character quotes, themes and book analyses. Using a rainbow of colours from your extensive collection of highlighter pens.

You will already know that I’ve replaced your hand with mine in these photographs, so you know that I’m there, that I was always there.

11.00am and it’s pens down, no doubt friends will ask how you did and you will ask them. Which parts were easy, which themes did you each choose?

As I wander around our home, half packed away with wall markings ready for the building work one day, I see all the pop-up study spaces of yours. Some I’ve helped you create, some you’ve just landed into, in your unique freestyle kind of way. This unfair catapult, shows two years of unexpected unschooling to being flung into school exams. There is no doubt it has come with over-filled baggage.

But you continue to lead with wisdom, fairness and a will of steel.

I often wonder who is guiding who.

Artifact Motherhood is a collaboration of artists/mothers from around the world. Sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Our hopes and dreams for our children. With little nuggets of wisdom here and there. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and the generations to come.

Please visit the next artist in our blog circle, the talented Kirsty Larmour and continue through all the artists until you get back to me.


Artifact Motherhood October 2021 | No Photos Please

Can I photograph you?

I cannot quite pinpoint the exact time you started saying no, though it feels like it might be for much of this year by now. 

Looking through our family albums I notice that I don’t feature much. I know I’m there, you know I’m there, forever (silently) clicking away. It’s just in those years to come, when I want to think of you opening the pages and being able to see me really looking at you, knowing you.

Speaking into the gaps you may be missing at points of your life by then.

So I’m filling in these gaps right now. I’m turning every no, every first time in your life that I want to photograph you, into a self portrait.

So that one of us is there.

Until you are ready to say yes again. From your birthday morning, to the other weekend when you caught the train alone for the first time, to the quiet moments when the light is shining on you and I see something that irritates you now… but may just make you smile later.

 

Artifact Motherhood is a collaboration of artists/mothers from around the world. Sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Our hopes and dreams for our children. With little nuggets of wisdom here and there. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and the generations to come.

Please visit the next artist in our blog circle, the talented Lauren Webster and continue through all the artists until you get back to me.


A morning with Masha Manapov | illustrator and designer

A photographic commission for Oh Magazine

Sometimes I imagine myself sitting by a giant window on a rainy day with a big mug of tea, two mongrel dogs by my feet, overlooking the Welsh hills while contemplating my craft…”

Masha is an award-winning illustrator and designer, who I got to engage in a little craftivism with one sunny morning in Bristol, for a commission with Oh Magazine

Born in Baku, raised in Tel Aviv, Masha has recently moved from Bristol to London and works on a range of diverse projects including branding, packaging, editorial and marketing campaigns. Though it’s her self-initiated side project, The Fine Print that got our hearts racing that morning. An environmentally-focussed project exploring the hidden life of the products we consume. It looks at the meaning and intention around buzz words such as ‘organic’ and ‘natural. ‘

So we quickly (temporarily) pasted posters up on a busy Bristol street.  All in the name of our craftivist photo shoot. With a little bit of traffic-dodging and answering the quizzical glances of the passersby thrown in for good measure.

She’s a passionate conceptual artist, whose colourful and textured imagery skirts the boundaries between reality and fantasy. I was also drawn to the connection we shared of exploring life’s curious moments and how we put ourselves into these scenes to become part of the story.

 

Oh Magazine Autumn 2021

Designed by Rosalind Howard

Sadly this is the final Oh Magazine, but you can still catch up with The Simple Things here

Instagram: @mashka.man

 


Coast-to-Coast Project June 2021 | an ode to Barry

Barry Island Pleasure Beach

Home to the closest seafront fairground to us, cheesy ‘Cwl Cymru’ and coastal playground of my youth.

Over the decades, through travel and adventures far and wide, it’s a place I come back to time and time again. A place I rediscover new corners and delight in the timeless Welsh seaside charm I thought I knew all sides to, but still keep finding new treasures. A place I now pass the baton on to my daughter, who’s idea of heaven is a crisp ten pound note in her back pocket. To ride the fairground rides and while away the leftover pennies in the amusement arcades.

And don’t get me started on people watching, or even seagull watching as they edge closer to fallen chips and ice cream melts.

In recent years, it’s become the hometown of Stacey, before she met her Gavin, and you don’t need me to talk about what’s occurrin’ with Nessa and Smithy …for my overseas friends who may have escaped this comedic phenomena, just google Gavin & Stacey.

It is a place that has uniquely, quirkily and authentically kept its local charm, while keeping modest in its international fame. It is a place that brings simple and quintessential delight to all that amble there. All moods, all cultures and all generations. 40 minutes from home.

“The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach—waiting for a gift from the sea.” Anne Morrow Lindbergh, from A Gift from the Sea.
Welcome to our Coast to Coast loop. We are a group of photographers from around the world, from timezones as far flung as Australia to Canada and in between, each with a different seascape. Coast to Coast aims to document our changing sea views and perspectives – both literal and philosophical – of what the sea means to us, month to month through the changing seasons. To follow the loop, go next to the talented Marilaine Delisle and experience her coastal adventure for May 2021.


Coast-to-Coast Project May 2021 | from the west to the east

Hastings Pier has always been my grounding point.

Over the 20 years we’ve been visiting our family in the east, the Pier is a place I’ve gravitated to. And this trip to Hastings to visit family, who we hadn’t since since last summer, saw me back there once more. Quietly observing what has changed and what has stood still during this time away.

It is the halfway point of everywhere I’ve come to know in this old faded and majestic seaside town. It’s my finish line for a morning’s run, the place we’ll meet friends and it’s where Jeanie and I will ‘roll the boards’ on skates, me taking tumbles and attempting tricks my 14-year-self shakes her head at in embarrassment. This activity has sadly been since banned there.

I’m thankful for the walks, for the delight of seeing the beach huts packed with curios and candyfloss, and to walk right to the end to gaze far, far out to sea.

Though on this day, I was thankful just to be able to people- watch and the gift of that 360 view of the beach, promenade and ocean.

For the chance to watch the lovers watching lovers, the banter of my fellow humans coming back to life after lock down, and for the familiar shrill, shriek and cry of the gulls. A place I’ve missed and a place I am happy to call my other home.

 

“The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach—waiting for a gift from the sea.” Anne Morrow Lindbergh, from A Gift from the Sea.
Welcome to our Coast to Coast loop. We are a group of photographers from around the world, from timezones as far flung as Australia to Canada and in between, each with a different seascape. Coast to Coast aims to document our changing sea views and perspectives – both literal and philosophical – of what the sea means to us, month to month through the changing seasons. To follow the loop, go next to the talented Rachel Rimmell and experience her coastal adventure for May 2021.